We Bark

April 27, 2015 | We Love
Barking kills me. My entry way is a tunnel that reverberates sound like nothing I have experienced. My former roommate had a sweetheart of a dog but his bark was like a boom cannon.

And he barked so much…our house was the neighborhood carnival house, noises being its true moneymaker! When the roommate moved out, the watch dog duties were passed to Wes, and his high pitched bark was incessant but not as devastating. A bark buzzer works to quiet him down, largely because it scares him worse than whatever might be outside the front door. When he really gets going, you can also hear him bark from under the bed upstairs, through the floorboards. That is fun.

A longer story for later, but Wes is medicated. Prozac to be exact. Once he went on meds, he settled a little bit and the barking was again handed off, this time to Barnaby. What Barnaby lacks in stature he more than makes up for in dedication. His bark is atrocious. And terrifying. A built in security system that all my neighbors know about. Oh, it is so bad. He even barks when he knows the person entering the front door. Sadly, but not unsurprisingly, the buzzer doesn’t work on Barn. He is made of steel, that dog, and can overcome any nuisance. The only thing that settles him, as he is not medicated, is distraction. Distraction usually means his cat sister, who knows the routine of being tossed in his path to waylay any barking tantrums (only because he will literally sit on her rather than bark-thank goodness she doesn’t mind).


“When he really gets going, you can also hear him bark from under the bed upstairs, through the floorboards. That is fun.”

And then finally, there is relative silence again until the floor above vibrates with Wes’s under-the-bed grumblings that sets off a chain reaction of Barnaby’s barking bullets that ricochet off the walls and into the very depths of my nightmares-and not nightmares of terror, but of mortification (the “naked-on-stage” kind). My current roommate, who is lovely, suffers the most from this type of security system, but I guess it is better than no system at all.

Regardless, barking kills me.

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